My husband describes my life as “bland.”  It is hard for me argue against that claim because I really didn’t have major ups and downs in my life.  It was always calm, normal, and expected. 

I was raised in a very normal loving family.  My parents always worked hard for my sister, my brother, and me.  I also always worked hard to please my parents and myself.  It made me happy and proud to see my parents smile when I brought a report card with all A’s.  My accomplishments fueled me to work harder and become a “good person” that will make others happy.  I always associated myself with good, hard working friends during my adolescent years and was usually satisfied with what I have done.

After I graduated college, I got a job right away.  Right around the time that I was ready to have a boyfriend, my husband appeared in my life like it was a fate.  Both my parents and his parents approved of our relationship and after dating for couple of months, my husband proposed to me at a dinner cruise.  It was something that every girl at my age dreamed of and my friends were surprised that I would be the first one to get married among my friends.  I was always the quiet one in school who never really showed interest in boyfriends.

My in-laws are very dedicated Christians.  In the beginning, it felt strange to see them pray all the time and appreciate God and His grace to every moment of their life.  They would dedicate all their accomplishments and blessings to God and his grace.  My father-in-law, for example, would pray every time we depart after a family gathering regardless of the locations.  Sometimes we would be standing in a circle at a restaurant parking lot to pray for God and our family.  I thought he was being too excessive with his faith.  It was hard to me to understand since my hearts were not with God or the prayers at the time.

Over the ten years that I attended church, I slowly began to understand my in-laws.  I also wanted my children to grow up in an environment where God and His grace is shared and appreciated.  I realized that children with faith grew stronger and healthier.  I realized that my unfaithful and “normal” life have been the major hindrance to my faith in God.  I realized that it’s not what I do that brings happiness and good things in life, but it is by God’s grace that we are saved.  As it was pointed out many times during baptism sessions, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8.   This verse clearly summarizes for me how I should be like as a Christian and started to view my father-in-law as a role model.  I also realized that my accomplishments really did not make me happy.  I was always anxious that I would not meet other people’s expectations and disappoint them.  I couldn’t even sleep or eat well before a test with a fear that I would fail others. 

I have deeply realized that I don’t have full control of myself and I am a sinner.  “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23.  Through baptism, I want to remind myself of my sins and want to live a life that can glorify God, not myself or others.